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| There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't. | | Science and Religion | | |
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| There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love. | | Love and Hate | | |
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| To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of them absent. | | Success and Failure | | |
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| To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. | | Law and Politics | | |
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| True friendship is seen through the heart, not through the eyes. | | Love and Hate | | |
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| Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables, the organism will do as it damn well pleases. | | Science and Religion | | |
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| Voters are people who have the God-given right to decide who will waste their money for them. | | Law and Politics | | |
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