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| While anyone can admit to themselves they were wrong, the true test is admission to someone else. | | Success and Failure | | |
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| While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several. | | Vice and Virtue | | |
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| While money can't buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery. | | Wealth and Poverty | | |
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| Why bother building any more nuclear warheads until we've used the ones we have? | | War and Peace | | |
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| Women first want to find out what is in your wallet, and second what is in your pants. | | Men and Women | | |
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| Work is accomplished by those employees who have not reached their level of incompetence. | | Work and Recreation | | |
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| You are not what you think you are, you are not what they think you are, but you could be what you think they think you are. | | Success and Failure | | |
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| You can tell a lot about a person by looking at what kind of people are his friends and children. | | Wisdom and Ignorance | | |
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| You cannot discover new oceans unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore. | | Success and Failure | | |
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| You draw nothing out of the bank of life except what you deposit in it. | | Life and Death | | |
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| You may only have two of the three choices: (1) Enjoy your job. (2)Work within the law. (3)Make lots of money. | | Work and Recreation | | |
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| You should emulate your heroes, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead. | | Success and Failure | | |
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| You're a genius if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning is electricity -- but you're an idiot if you fly a kite during a thunderstorm, and discover that lightning can kill you. | | Success and Failure | | |
