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| Anyone who uses the phrase "easy as taking candy from a baby" has never tried taking candy from a baby. | | Success and Failure | | |
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| Art is a deliberate recreation of a new and special reality that grows from your response to life. It cannot be copied; it must be created. | | Art and Literature | | |
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| Bacchus: A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk. | | Vice and Virtue | | |
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| Be an optimist -- at least until they start moving animals in pairs to Cape Kennedy. | | Life and Death | | |
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| Before the beginning of great brilliance, there must be chaos. Before a brilliant person begins something great, they must look foolish in the crowd. | | Wisdom and Ignorance | | |
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| Before you find your handsome prince, you have to kiss a lot of frogs. | | Love and Hate | | |
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| Biology is the only science in which multiplication means the same thing as division. | | Science and Religion | | |
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| Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves for we shall never cease to be amused. | | Happiness and Misery | | |
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| Blessed is the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime and too sleepy to worry at night. | | Success and Failure | | |
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| Boren's Laws: (1) When in charge, ponder. (2) When in trouble, delegate. (3) When in doubt, mumble. | | Success and Failure | | |
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| Bradley's Bromide: If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in. | | Success and Failure | | |
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| By doing just a little every day, you can gradually let the task completely overwhelm you. | | Success and Failure | | |
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| Capitalism is the unequal distribution of wealth -- communism is the equal distribution of poverty. | | Law and Politics | | |
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