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| Don't worry over what other people are thinking about you. They're too busy worrying over what you are thinking about them. | | Life and Death | | |
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| Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. | | Life and Death | | |
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| Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day. | | Life and Death | | |
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| Every oak tree started out as a couple of nuts who decided to stand their ground. | | Success and Failure | | |
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| Every successful person has had failures but repeated failure is no guarantee of eventual success. | | Success and Failure | | |
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| Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink. | | Vice and Virtue | | |
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| Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. | | Life and Death | | |
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| Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs. | | Altruism and Cynicism | | |
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