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| Experience is the worst teacher. It always gives the test first and the instruction afterwards. | | Success and Failure | | |
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| Fairy tales: Horror stories for children to get them used to reality. | | Life and Death | | |
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| Finagle's Fourth Law: Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse. | | Success and Failure | | |
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| First Law of Bicycling: No matter where you're going, it's uphill and against the wind. | | Work and Recreation | | |
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| First Rule of History: History doesn't repeat itself -- historians merely repeat each other. | | Science and Religion | | |
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| George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but he also admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his father didn't punish him? Because George still had the axe in his hand. | | Altruism and Cynicism | | |
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| Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a lemon. Teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Friday. | | Work and Recreation | | |
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| Give a man a fish and he'll ask for a lemon. Teach a man to fish and he'll leave work early on Friday. | | Work and Recreation | | |
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| Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. | | Wisdom and Ignorance | | |
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| God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily. | | Success and Failure | | |
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| Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins for two weeks. | | Vice and Virtue | | |
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| Grinnell's Law of Labor Laxity: At all times, for any task, you have not got enough done today. | | Work and Recreation | | |
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