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| Cynics regard everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regard everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves. | | Robert Anton Wilson | | |
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| Demagogue: One who preaches a doctrine he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots. | | Henry Louis Mencken | | |
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| Don't tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective. | | Unknown | | |
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| Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me. | | Ambrose Bierce | | |
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| Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain of being a damned fool. | | Bellamy Brooks | | |
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| Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead. | | Ambrose Bierce | | |
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| Every age is fed on illusions, lest men should renounce life early and the human race come to an end. | | Joseph Conrad | | |
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| Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes. | | P. J. O'Rourke | | |
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| Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs. | | Unknown | | |
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| Familiarity breeds contempt. | | Unknown | | |
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| Few things are harder to put up with than a good example. | | Mark Twain | | |
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| Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. | | Thomas Jones | | |
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| George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but he also admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his father didn't punish him? Because George still had the axe in his hand. | | Unknown | | |
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| Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. | | Mark Twain | | |
